I sometimes think I only pretend

I once keyed my neighbors car when I was 8, my parents were so pissed.

i've heavily manipulated situations to successfully get into an online small group of friends because i liked how they got together. while i most of the time feel guilty i really like how it ended up because otherwise i'd be doing stuff lonely.

my professor sucks at teaching but damn he's hot

Until today I did not get a girlfriend, what's wrong with me?

Today I cried so loudly after my break up that the neighbours came over to check if I'm dying.

Back when I was around 10 years old a friend of mine and I created a fake letter from our school that we later on put in the mailbox of our other friend. The letter said we were given additional homework and that it had to be completed by the next day. He believed it and did it.

i once had a two day crush on the prinicipal from the simpsons

This one time my belt was too loose and I was taking my lab apron off in biology class and my pants fell down

Getting married ruins relationships in my opinion, you don't need a legal paper to prove your love